Thursday, June 14, 2007

My Kraut-Mick Friend

Does anybody know what I am alluding to in the title? Ten points to the winner. Anyway, last night I met one of the more interesting characters thus far on my trip. His name is Patty. No, his name is Dominic. He goes by both names. He's Irish. No, he's German. He can't be both?!

This guy, whose real name is in fact Dominic goes around telling people that he's Irish. He talks with an Irish accent and wears a lot of Irish-looking clothes (what are Irish clothes? I don't know, they just look Irish). There are a few of us who know, however, that he is not Irish at all, and has actually never been to Ireland. He's a born and bred German.

Why does he do this? Well, his answer was that it helped him "get laid." Ok, sure. But there's probably another reason. One guy thinks that he does it because he is ashamed to be a German. I don't think that's necessarily true either. Really, I think he is just one of those people who likes to entertain himself at other's expense. Not in a malicious way, but that's just how he gets his kicks.
That reminds me of this guy who used to come into the vitamin store I worked in during high school. His nickname with the workers was "the Christ Warrior" because apparently at one time he claimed that he was the thirteenth warrior of Christ (what happened to the other twelve?). As you can imagine, I was so intrigued by the crazy dude that I just had to talk to him. We start chatting, and pretty soon I am getting the impression that he's perfectly normal! No crazy eyes. No drool. We're just laughing and talking. I think he fakes being crazy! Heck, it would be pretty funny to act crazy and watch people's reactions. He is just stubborn enough to always do it. Well, that's my theory anyway. For all I know, he could be batshit crazy.

Either way, Dominic recently "buried" Patty and has apparently given up the whole fascade. To show how he was symbolically burying Patty, he actually buried: a beer, an Irish menu, an Irish t-shirt, a pack of cigarettes, and a pack of condoms. Rest in peace Patty.

What can we learn from all of this? I'm not too sure. There's no need to be ashamed of who you are? Sure, that sounds good to me.



EMC said...

you're ridiculous. as is "patty". there are definitely irish looking clothes; i got all my drinks paid for last night cause 2 guys walked into the bar and i immediately told everyone they were either irish or south african (the dress is actually oddly similar) and no one believed me. as soon as i got drunk enough, of course, i had to go up and talk to them to find out. ps i am absurdly hungover and currently reading all of your posts at once. hence all the back-commenting.

Anonymous said...

its from the godfather, from that old man movie producer who doesnt like frank sinatra...i mean johnny fontane...sounds like youre have an awesome time, i enjoy reading your travels, its kind of inspiring me

Anonymous said...

by the way the anonymous person is from "two guns"