Just look at me. I am so European.
Recently, I have taken to rolling up the bottoms of my jeans... and I actually walk around in public like that! And more importantly, I look good! At first I saw other people rolling up their jeans and all I could think of was Huck Finn riding down the Big River, until one day I tired it out myself. After five rolls on each side, I was ready to enter public. Quite shyly, granted, but I did it and there were no awkward stares! No rude comments! I was one with the European waiting inside of me. Pretty soon, I started wearing my sunglasses in the rain and carrying my man-purse everywhere I went. Recently, I have even gotten into the habit of heading to my favorite Italian coffee shop and ordering..... wait for it..... a cappuccino! ME?? WTF, mate?! I am a snobbish tea drinker who would never be caught dead drinking that vile brown liquid that has so entranced the masses for millenia. But I gave it a try, and dammit, I like it. Even with the little crown of foam that they put on the top. The foam is in the shape of a leaf! I love that foam-leaf. They're so talented. And the cappuccino! Oh my! When the waiter enthusiastically announces "un capo!" I know that I am in for a treat. Silently, I giggle with delight. And soon it arrives and I take such delight in the little cup whose handle is not big enough to stick a toddler's pinky through. No no, you must handle the cup with care and patience. You must grip the handle with thumb and forefinger and squeeze just enough so that the fat from both fingers fills the handle-hole. Ahhhh, the warmth of my forefinger pressed barely against my thumb. Heaven. And then its time for the sugar! I sprinkle a small amount on top of the leaf-foam and watch it dissapear, submerging inside of the warm liquid. I like to think that the sugar goes to a better place and is just waiting for me to join the party. It slips beneath the foam and says "Hey Matt, I'll meet you on the other side!." "Ok sugar," I say, "I'll see you there soon." But first I must use this little barbie spoon to seductively scoop molocules of foam from off the top. The sip. The swallow. The wipe. The satisfied exhale. The saucer replace.
I am so European.