Friday, June 15, 2007

My Interior Monologue is a Dialogue

So, recently I have been having doubts as to whether this whole trip was a good idea. As of now, I am incredibly unsatisfied. Here's the scene from Pulp Fiction that describes my dilemma, with Jules being my adventurous side and Vincent being my rational side:

VINCENT: So if you're quitting the life,what'll you do?
JULES: That's what I've been sitting here contemplating. First, I'm gonna deliver this case to Marsellus. Then, basically, I'm gonna walk the earth.
VINCENT: What do you mean, walk the earth?
JULES: You know, like Caine in "KUNG FU." Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.
VINCENT: How long do you intend to walk the earth?
JULES: Until God puts me where he want me to be.
VINCENT: What if he never does?
JULES: If it takes forever, I'll wait forever.
VINCENT: So you decided to be a bum?
JULES: I'll just be Jules, Vincent -- no more, no less.
VINCENT: No Jules, you're gonna be like those pieces of shit out there who beg for change. They walk around like a bunch of fuckin' zombies, they sleep in garbage bins, they eat what I throw away, and dogs piss on 'em. They got a word for'em, they're called bums. And without a job, residence, or legal tender, that's what you're gonna be-- a fuckin' bum!

Job? check
Residence? Not really. It depends each day.
Legal Tender? Dwindling rapidly.

When I am not giving tours, I am not doing anything of real value. Yes, it is relaxing and such but I am not in the mood to relax. I feel like I am just being a bum. Tours for three hours, then walking around aimlessly for many more hours. I am not working towards any real goal... or anything really beneficial. It's time to make some real decisions! Let's see how that goes.


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