Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Devil's Chair

Dude. I totally hate leather chairs. Some might say, "No Matthew, leather is the most luxurious material there is!" I retort with a resounding "Nay!" that echos throughout the empty streets. I hate leather chairs, and let me tell you why.

The material is completely unbreathable. If there is the slightest hint of moisture on your body, your skin has to literally be ripped apart when you decide to stand. Oh God, I am literally soggy right now (I write my posts in a leather chair in the lobby of my hostel). Try sleeping on leather! Impossible. I overheat way too easily, and tend to drool on leather for some reason. Maybe the moisture is being literally torn from my body.... through my mouth. I don't know. I hate leather chairs.

So today I met the Pope's ex-assistant. Pretty cool. As you may or may not know, Pope Benedict XVI used to be the archbishop of Munich and Freising and his cathedral was here in Munich (the Frauenkirche, known for its twin onion domes). Well, I was giving a tour and while walking through the cathedral, this very personable priest walked over to our group. Using one of my tour members as translater (kind of embarassing) we found out that he was the Pope's assistant when he was here in Munich. This guy went on to entertain the group for another ten minutes, asking if we thought Munich was beautiful and things like that. Now, that's all great and everything, but as a tour guide I am ruthlessly efficient in my schedule. My parents would make fun of the German tour guides, who would say "we will return here in seven minutes and 38 seconds." Why not just round up? Sacrilege! I am so one of the efficient tour guides, giving exact times wherever we go. Anyway, I adjusted for Father's timely appearance (get the allusion? I thought that was pretty witty) and continued the tour.
Pity once said that so much of our lives are wasted because of rounding up in time. Instead of spending a necessary 6 minutes, we round to 10. I think I get it now. It adds up!

Well, I am going to go grab a cappoccino right now (see previous post). Time to study for the Dachau tour. The certification tour is in two weeks. Yikes.

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