Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tight Leather Pants

After careful consideration, I have decided that it woud be in poor taste to write every detail of my love life here. Therefore, I will not get into any detail about the Book Shop Girl (sort of like the Pet Shop Boys). Just know, Her name is Maja (like Mya or Mia), I had a great time, and we'll see what happens.

Much more interesting story:

Yesterday I finally went shopping for my first pair of Lederhosen. Lederhosen, as previously mentioned, is the traditional garb of Bavarian men. It consists of a pair of short leather shorts and suspenders. Actually, there is a character in the Simpsons, a German exchange student, who wears Lederhosen (and, hysterically, in the German version of the Simpsons, they make him the Swiss exchange student).
So I go shopping, along with Natalie and Philipp. Philipp wears his pair of lederhosen to the store, just to get me in the mood (the best part about lederhosen is that you can wear a pair and walk down the road and nobody will even notice. I look like a freakin' shepard, and nobody blinks an eye).

We head inside, and working today is sort of the poster child for this store. He is on all of their advertisments, for a number of reasons: 1. He is kind of fat. 2. He always wears lederhosen. 3. He has a handlebar mustouche and goatee. 4. He is one of the gayest men I have ever met.

This guy was freakin' hysterical. He saw me, and kind of took a liking to me (It is worth noting that gay men love me. This is not an ego thing, but a cold hard fact. Apparently this is true for many Reed family men. I am not entirely sure why, but hell, I love it. There is nothing more flattering than a straight dude like myself to be hit on by gay men, as, stereotypically, they are the pickiest people on the planet. It's a compliment! ).

I try on the first pair.
"No, no. Tighter."
The second pair.
"No. It needs to be tighter."
The third pair. It fits like a glove. Well, not quite like a glove. Maybe a glove that cuts off circulation. I BUY IT!

I own my first pair of lederhosen, and talked him down in price! (I will not reveal the price, as it is truly obscene. They are ridiculously expensive. Take your guess and triple it. Then add 100 euros. Squared.) I havn't taken a picture yet, but when I do I will be sure to post it.



Paul said...

i still want to hear about your love life...

and let me tell you, that post gave me the best visual ever--- i guarantee that you were skipping down the streets of munich laughing gayly with your tight-fitting lederhosen with one of those swirly rainbow lolli-pops singing show tunes.

How does new years sound for me to visit?

Anonymous said...

Hi Matt

I want to meet your friend Paul, he makes me laugh. Bring him over to Switzerland when he finally makes it out to visit you.

I want to hear about your love life, too. I guess I'll just have to wait and drill you when you come down to visit.

Talk to you soon!