Friday, August 10, 2007

Let This Be a Day of Mourning

I did it.

I didn't think I could ever do it.

But I did.

I talked to Ice Cream Girl. "What happened!" you say with breathless anticipation. I can feel the collective heartbeat of my readers rising steadily......

Here is exactly what happened. First, I scouted out the area from across the street to see if she was working. That would be funny if I was lying. I really did it though. She's working. Perfect. Must build courage. Here we go. Let's roll. I walk up to the stand and wait in line for 3 minutes. I step up to the counter:
Me: Hello, how's it going
ICG: (giggle)
Me: (in a teasing way) Why do you always laugh when I say that? (I basically set up this situation after hours of planning. She always laughs when I say that. Damn, I am good. So far, this is running like clockwork.)
ICG: I am always laughing
Me (inner monologue): Hot damn she is cute.
Me (reality): Hahaha, OK.... I'll have ein milch und minze (my favorite, in half-German, half-English: My specialty).
ICG: Ein euro bitte.
I Pay with a 1 Euro coin
Me: What is your name?
ICG: Dharma (or Dharla, I am not sure. But my readers are well aware that I have difficulty hearing names here in Germany.)
Me: Where are you from?
ICG: Hungray.
Me (going for the kill): What brings you to Munich?

A seemingly harmless question. The answer, however, did more harm than an enthusiastic 12 year old with a sawed-off.

ICG: My boyfriend.

I don't remember what happened after that, as I believe I passed out into a puddle of my own urine. That oughta win her heart.

And thus ends the Saga of the Ice Cream Girl. It was fun while it lasted. But, I learned a very important lesson: Always give her an opportunity to talk of her boyfriend. That spared me looking like a fool, and we know how easy it is to do that.

Side note- I am now royalty at the salad place whose internet I use. I just got two pieces of multi-grain bread with my salad. The commoners only get one. Hey.... There's a cute girl across the table from me. Must build courage....


Your adoring mother said...

You are such an idiot. I laughed out loud. Where the hell do you come from, that's what I want to know? Dad and I are nothing like you (ok, maybe your father is a little nuts too).
You need to come home and make me laugh. Reading your craziness makes me miss you even more.

Paul said...

matt I want to take your mom to lunch . tell her to call me.

also, ICG has no idea what she's missing...