Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My Life, the Sit Com

I am currently sitting inside of my old hostel, hijacking their internet connection. Looking around, I notice that the usual cast of characters are all in here. I am going to give you a brief run-down of the people who I see every day.... and an interesting bunch they are. (I hope they never read this: actually, it would be pretty terrible if they did. Executive decision: I am going to change the names to protect the innocent) parenthetical aside in italics: The song by REM "Losing my Religion" just came on the radio. I remember being so afraid of this song as a youngster. It still bothers me to this day.

Slinky: One person described Slinky as the "God of tour guides." That mayhaps be a slight exaggeration, but he is very good at what he does. And he knows it. Slinky is pretty much obsessed with himself. Very charming dude. Granted. But honestly.... you're a tour guide. Slinky seems to believe in the art form that is "guiding." Dude, you are a tour guide. Thankfully, I have no delusions of guiding grandeur. This is a fun job, but I am by no means an artist. Well, now that I think of it.... I am an educator and an entertainer. Maybe there is an art to it.

Jimbo: Jimbo is the dude who stands on the corner handing out flyers for a pub crawl company here. He is not "all there" as they say. No, Jimbo is that kind of person who when they speak to you are staring off into space at the same time. He's not being rude, he's just "not all there." Nice guy besides that, but a bit of a weirdo.

Jack Daniels: Jack runs one of the bike companies here in Munich, and he is freaking hysterical. He is not trying to be, he just is. A big American dude with funny facial hair (think soul patch with a part in the middle), he is basically a giant teddy bear. Very good dude, if maybe not the smartest. He rides his bike around taunting us walking guides in a playful way.

I would continue, as there are so many more, but I am ridiculously hungry. Back in my neighborhood where I live, I have befriended many of the local restaurant owners. There is the bald guy over at Soul Kitchen, the sweet Italian man at Pasta e Basta, and the Jesus-looking dude who runs the nut stand (50 grams of almonds is the usual order for me. Nice healthy snack.) I am feeling Italian. Maybe Spaggetti Carbonara with a nice cappoccino.

OH DUDE!!

I forgot. One last thing. I have a dilemma:

Should I become a stalker?

I know that thought has gone through your head before. Here is the situation: That waitress who I previously mentioned in a post works on Wednesdays at this coffee place. Should I be a total sketch-ball and go there on Wednesdays now? Is that the first step to being a stalker? I mean, I know her schedule. Pretty soon I might set up a mini-shrine dedicated to her in my refrigerator: complete with undercover photo, empty cappoccino cups, and all the change that she has given me. I'm doomed.
-Matt

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Matt

Are you going to post a picture of the waitress/goddess? The suspense is killing me!

Mom said...

Drew:
Your descriptions of people make dad and I laugh so hard. You are crazy.
I agree witgh anonymous, you need to post a picture of this most beautiful woman you have fallen for.