Last night I went to a real festival in backwoods Bavaria. What can possibly be at a carnival-type event in Bavaria? Please.... it's probably going to be a bunch of slightly overweight Germans drinking lots of beer, eating pretzels and sausages, and singing American songs from 20 years ago, right?
Uh, yeah. That's exactly what it was. I was looking to shatter all of the stereotypes and be all "Bavarians are actually a rather reserved people who prefer the crunch of a fine peice of celery instead of the abrasive qualities of a fresh beer." But that's completely untrue. They freakin love beer. I had two.... just to fit in, I swear.
(Reality Check: I am in a salad-based/hipster establishment currently, and playing from the radio right now is a truly nauseating, German version of Tom Jones "Sex Bomb." It sounds like the genie from Aladdin is singing it. That wouldn't be very kosher with the kiddies.)
Besides festival hopping and tour-giving, a few days ago I had to lead one of our infamous "Pub Crawls." That's where the guide brings people to the bars and clubs in Munich. Usually we get about 15-20 people per PC... but, of course, on my day I had 43. And 18 of them were Irish.
Did you just say "oh my god" to yourself? I appreciate the sympathy, but God was not with me. They were freakin insane! There is no way of controlling a group of drunk Irishman. Wait. I made a mistake. Controlling the Irishman is possible.... controlling the Irishwomen on the other hand is a feat that shalt be left to the gods of Olympus. They are a difficult bunch. The worst part, however, is the language barrier.
I havn't worked up the guts to say "I speak English; American English, and I think you can understand every single word I say. You have not asked me to repeat myself. But what the hell did you just say?" Dude, I truly could only get every third sentence or so. I have notoriously bad hearing as well (thank you Pete Townsend). Not a good combination.
In closing, I hope people are planning on visiting me here! Cousin April and Carsten on coming here next week; and you should to! Get on it! I have floor space. And a tub.