Thursday, September 27, 2007


And so my journeys have brought me to Prague.

First Impression: eh.

I kind of like Munich more. Here's why: Prague is a very old city, which is fantastic. However, the old city is covered in touristy shit. All of the old buildings house restaurants or cheezy gift shops (my favorites sell those fuzzy hats and the dolls that fit inside of one another. The best part is that those are Russian and have absolutely nothing to do with Prague). It is sort of like using that antique mahagony nightstand to display your prized Batman action figure collection (complete with Batman bat-arangs, bat-grappling hooks, and "Oops, I crapped my pants" Robin).

The food is cheap, if somewhat skimpy on the portion sizes. I had leg of boar last night in a deliciously thick red wine sauce. The people (I know I'm stereotyping here) are a bit more cold and suspicious, especially compared to the Bavarians (heck, Bob Ross was a dick compared to most Bavarians). The first interaction I had with a Praguer was a cab driver. I learned, if a cab driver starts haggling the price before you even step foot in the car: warning. I could just tell this guy was not to be trusted. Forget you, cab driver, I'm walking! I get 10 feet down the road and start regretting my decision. It's raining and my feet are wet. I should have taken a cab. Dammit. I can't go back now or he will judge me. I don't want the Czech cab driver to hate me. Woe is me, and the sufferring I withstand. Matt the Martyr.

But on a serious note, I do like the city. I took a walking tour of it yesterday. Naturally, I can't help but be slightly critical of the "tour". I must say, her technique was all off. Talking to the buildings and not the people, not projecting to the people in the back.... freakin' rookie mistakes. But she was pretty cute, as far as Prague people go, so I'll give that to her. She wins. On the tour, I met a very cool American doctor named John. He is from California and just visiting some friends in Europe. He and I sort of hit it off, sharing travel stories and the like. We decided that that night we would do a Pub Crawl.

Bad idea. Well, I tried Absinthe for the first time. It's overrated. Tastes like black licorice. Did I say black licorice? I meant the Devil's butt juice. But, since it has such a stigma to it, I decided to drink it all anyway. We rocked out for quite awhile, but I decided that I had had enough partying relatviely early in the night and was in bed by 12:30.

Today, I wondered around the city: the Jewish Quarter, the Old Town, the New Town (where I am currently). Right now I am in a kind of sketchy restaurant with free wi-fi. Now that I think about it, I am kind of the sketchy guy, because I am huddled in a corner of the rather large floorspace typing away furiously while the other patrons enjoy their Mai-Tais (I, as you can imagine, am enjoying an oversized and overpriced cappoccino. My third of the day. It's what I do when I need to sit down.)

My waitress isn't good looking, but.... interesting. There is something weird. I can't figure it out. She sort of is incredibly attractive, but not really. She's ridiculously hot, but not at all. I'd hit on her, but I'll pass. I wonder what she is doing later, but I really don't care. I hope she likes the "on the outside kind of bristly on the inside musical theater" type, but I'd rather jab rusty spoons into my eyes.
What sixth sense exists inside of human beings that can unexplainably draw us towards each other for no good reason whatsoever? This happens all the time to me. I just sense something in certain people (both men and women, but not "like that" thankyouverymuch.) that draws me in. With this girl, I think it is the eyes. She has those very Eastern European/Slavic eyes that are filled with mystery (the heavy black eye-liner accentuates them). She will be in the next Bond film.

Well, I leave Prague tomorrow morning at 8:45am. Now the question is: do I wake up at 6 and go to the airport, or party like a rockstar and never go to sleep? Only time will tell!

1 comment:

Paul said...

i think you just like anyone in the food service industry. waitresses, ice cream attendants, butchers... you name it, if they handle food (or frothy cappucinos) matt falls in love with it.