I don't go around parading this, but I think Andy Dick is one of the funniest people out there. Or, at least he was in 2002. My evidence:
Exhibit A:
http://www.andydick.com/andy_dick_show/adick_show_01_06_02.html
Exhibit B:
http://www.andydick.com/andy_dick_show/adick_show_01_10_03.html
and finally, Exhibit C:
http://www.andydick.com/andy_dick_show/adick_show_01_06_03.html
Feel free to hate him (the man was arrested for stripping the shirt off a 17 year old girl), but that's funny stuff.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
god or God?
I don't believe in God. Let's be reminded of that.
I was going through my own blog archives recently and came upon an old post where I basically posited that God must be a universal set of morals. That's it. If there is a set of morals that can apply to everyone, that is God. Why? Because "God" must apply to everyone, right? If he/He's all powerful and created all, then he must apply to all. I think that's a valid statement. If we can't all adhere to a set of morals, ostensibly proscribed by Him, then some of us must knowingly not be of His loins. Boom, he just proved He doesn't exist. Otherwise, God created the world and man in his image, except for the ugly one's who don't believe in him. Then where did they come from? They look a lot like us. My point.
Then, a friend of mine countered in the "comments" section that there are no universal morals. That's apparently Philosophy 101 (I never took a philosophy class in college).
My point. If there is not a single idea or moral conduct that everybody can adhere to, there is no God.
Or, I'll concede, there is no single God. Maybe a different God for different people. Maybe the different gods are chilling out in the sky, having a couple of mugs of Nectar, laughing at us as we try to figure it all out. Odin is passed out in the corner, while Shiva impresses all with his patented Six-Fisting Chug. Buddha lets out a wet one, tumbles to the floor in a fit of laughter, and makes Yahweh squirt Nectar out of his nose. They all high five. That's awesome.
I was going through my own blog archives recently and came upon an old post where I basically posited that God must be a universal set of morals. That's it. If there is a set of morals that can apply to everyone, that is God. Why? Because "God" must apply to everyone, right? If he/He's all powerful and created all, then he must apply to all. I think that's a valid statement. If we can't all adhere to a set of morals, ostensibly proscribed by Him, then some of us must knowingly not be of His loins. Boom, he just proved He doesn't exist. Otherwise, God created the world and man in his image, except for the ugly one's who don't believe in him. Then where did they come from? They look a lot like us. My point.
Then, a friend of mine countered in the "comments" section that there are no universal morals. That's apparently Philosophy 101 (I never took a philosophy class in college).
My point. If there is not a single idea or moral conduct that everybody can adhere to, there is no God.
Or, I'll concede, there is no single God. Maybe a different God for different people. Maybe the different gods are chilling out in the sky, having a couple of mugs of Nectar, laughing at us as we try to figure it all out. Odin is passed out in the corner, while Shiva impresses all with his patented Six-Fisting Chug. Buddha lets out a wet one, tumbles to the floor in a fit of laughter, and makes Yahweh squirt Nectar out of his nose. They all high five. That's awesome.
They Finally Get It
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/asia/2009/07/20097278348124813.html
According to an Al-Jazeera article (yes, I choose Al-Jazeera over CNN. If nothing else, it reports on things I am more interested in. But more importantly, it reports with a degree of responsibility), the Taliban have issued a book detailing the new code of conduct for fighters. It demands a decrease in suicide attacks, less civilian deaths in operations, and to attempt to win the "hearts and minds" of the populace.
We're fucked.
I say that only in jest. On the surface, it might seem like the American military/NATO/ just the Amercian military is going to have a tougher time in the future because they are no longer the only group preaching peace. But, I see a glimmer of hope. Here's why.
When presented with the choice between siding with the Americans (in theory: rebuilding infrastructure, building schools, security in the cities, etc.) or the Taliban (forced poppy cultivation, Sharia law, and recruitment and near brain-washing of the youth), I would think that a rational Afghan-- barring direct intimidation-- would choose the Americans. But now with this new proclamation, the choice isn't so clear cut. The Taliban are looking to popularize their vision. They are campaigning. They want to be a viable and attractive alternative to the American model. (This is assuming that this whole thing is legitimate unto itself, and that the Taliban will actually adhere to this new book, and wouldn't be so stupid as to issue this and then continue acting violently towards civilians.) With this new book, they are fighting smarter, not harder, because hard fighting only increases civilian resentment and American retaliation.
However, think about this: What if the Taliban have begun secret negotiations with the US (probably through a Pakistani middle-man, but that's fine) to moderate their views and enter the legitimate political arena?
Mullah Omar could not openly announce his intention to moderate and could never even hint that he was talking to the Americans. To do so would kill his movement and entire organization. It removes the sense of "them" and "us", or "good" and "evil", from a Taliban perspective. But, he could do so in secret. He could see the direction his movement is heading (more on this in a bit) and basically do a policy review. Now, I am not saying that the Taliban will abandon their views and try to emulate Hamas successful entry into mainstream politics. They won't abandon their pursuit of the imposition of Sharia law. But they might. I think they'll find a way to "legitimate" their entry into politics. What better way to start this process than to start talking to the occupying power? And I bet that the American military said, "only if you agree to these terms can we continue this dialogue." The new book is the fruit of these discussions.
The Al-Jazeera article goes on to say that Omar wants to centralize the movement. Duh! Right now, the Taliban is a fractured movement, with many fighters only labelling themselves "Taliban" for promotional purposes, while not adhering to the original doctrine of Mullah Omar. If he asserts his control and brings the disparate groups together, he can steer their direction more easily. The US, if they worked with him, would encourage this. It's better to have one powerful man to deal with and convince than to have hundreds of sub-commanders to deal with, who switch sides at the drop of a coin (literally). The saying goes "You can't buy loyalty in Afghanistan; you can only rent it."
Further in the article:
"Whenever any official, soldier, contractor or worker of the slave government is captured, these prisoners cannot be attacked or harmed," it says.
Yep. That sounds pretty American to me. I bet we added that part. Let's keep going:
"The book further states that if a "military infidel" is captured, the decision on whether to kill, release or exchange the hostage is only to be made by the Imam, a reference to Mullah Omar, or deputy Imam."
We get our boys back. That sounds good to me.
I can't say that this whole manifesto is a bad thing. It's great for the Afghan public's safety. It's maybe not so great from an American perspective in the NATO vs. Taliban war, but we are, theoretically, trying to help Afghans. Therefore, my conclusion is that a moderating and more controlled Taliban who have someone to answer to (Mullah Omar) is better than a suicide bombing and uncontrolled Taliban who pursue individual goals decided upon by a regional commander.
And the theory that we are negotiating with Mullah Omar has credence because, let's face it, the Taliban have lost ground in Afghanistan recently, and with Obama's push in the region, they're not going to be in power any time soon. Why not moderate and get a degree of power? It's pure Realpolitick. Instead of no power, have some. The Pakistanti government finally woke up and started pushing the Taliban back in the north west. By my limited geographic knowledge, that means the Taliban are being squeezed between two pincers. Add that Russia and the US are on better terms, and Russia is allowing the US to transport military hardware to Afghanistan through its borders, and Mullah Omar must recognize that the Taliban's future is bleak indeed. He should take what he can get, and if that means dealing with the Americans, well, it might just make for a happier and safer Afghanistan. I think we can all look forward to that.
According to an Al-Jazeera article (yes, I choose Al-Jazeera over CNN. If nothing else, it reports on things I am more interested in. But more importantly, it reports with a degree of responsibility), the Taliban have issued a book detailing the new code of conduct for fighters. It demands a decrease in suicide attacks, less civilian deaths in operations, and to attempt to win the "hearts and minds" of the populace.
We're fucked.
I say that only in jest. On the surface, it might seem like the American military/NATO/ just the Amercian military is going to have a tougher time in the future because they are no longer the only group preaching peace. But, I see a glimmer of hope. Here's why.
When presented with the choice between siding with the Americans (in theory: rebuilding infrastructure, building schools, security in the cities, etc.) or the Taliban (forced poppy cultivation, Sharia law, and recruitment and near brain-washing of the youth), I would think that a rational Afghan-- barring direct intimidation-- would choose the Americans. But now with this new proclamation, the choice isn't so clear cut. The Taliban are looking to popularize their vision. They are campaigning. They want to be a viable and attractive alternative to the American model. (This is assuming that this whole thing is legitimate unto itself, and that the Taliban will actually adhere to this new book, and wouldn't be so stupid as to issue this and then continue acting violently towards civilians.) With this new book, they are fighting smarter, not harder, because hard fighting only increases civilian resentment and American retaliation.
However, think about this: What if the Taliban have begun secret negotiations with the US (probably through a Pakistani middle-man, but that's fine) to moderate their views and enter the legitimate political arena?
Mullah Omar could not openly announce his intention to moderate and could never even hint that he was talking to the Americans. To do so would kill his movement and entire organization. It removes the sense of "them" and "us", or "good" and "evil", from a Taliban perspective. But, he could do so in secret. He could see the direction his movement is heading (more on this in a bit) and basically do a policy review. Now, I am not saying that the Taliban will abandon their views and try to emulate Hamas successful entry into mainstream politics. They won't abandon their pursuit of the imposition of Sharia law. But they might. I think they'll find a way to "legitimate" their entry into politics. What better way to start this process than to start talking to the occupying power? And I bet that the American military said, "only if you agree to these terms can we continue this dialogue." The new book is the fruit of these discussions.
The Al-Jazeera article goes on to say that Omar wants to centralize the movement. Duh! Right now, the Taliban is a fractured movement, with many fighters only labelling themselves "Taliban" for promotional purposes, while not adhering to the original doctrine of Mullah Omar. If he asserts his control and brings the disparate groups together, he can steer their direction more easily. The US, if they worked with him, would encourage this. It's better to have one powerful man to deal with and convince than to have hundreds of sub-commanders to deal with, who switch sides at the drop of a coin (literally). The saying goes "You can't buy loyalty in Afghanistan; you can only rent it."
Further in the article:
"Whenever any official, soldier, contractor or worker of the slave government is captured, these prisoners cannot be attacked or harmed," it says.
Yep. That sounds pretty American to me. I bet we added that part. Let's keep going:
"The book further states that if a "military infidel" is captured, the decision on whether to kill, release or exchange the hostage is only to be made by the Imam, a reference to Mullah Omar, or deputy Imam."
We get our boys back. That sounds good to me.
I can't say that this whole manifesto is a bad thing. It's great for the Afghan public's safety. It's maybe not so great from an American perspective in the NATO vs. Taliban war, but we are, theoretically, trying to help Afghans. Therefore, my conclusion is that a moderating and more controlled Taliban who have someone to answer to (Mullah Omar) is better than a suicide bombing and uncontrolled Taliban who pursue individual goals decided upon by a regional commander.
And the theory that we are negotiating with Mullah Omar has credence because, let's face it, the Taliban have lost ground in Afghanistan recently, and with Obama's push in the region, they're not going to be in power any time soon. Why not moderate and get a degree of power? It's pure Realpolitick. Instead of no power, have some. The Pakistanti government finally woke up and started pushing the Taliban back in the north west. By my limited geographic knowledge, that means the Taliban are being squeezed between two pincers. Add that Russia and the US are on better terms, and Russia is allowing the US to transport military hardware to Afghanistan through its borders, and Mullah Omar must recognize that the Taliban's future is bleak indeed. He should take what he can get, and if that means dealing with the Americans, well, it might just make for a happier and safer Afghanistan. I think we can all look forward to that.
At Least They're Not Drinking Wine
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/07/30/beer-choice-at-obama-meeting-touches-off-new-debate-2/
Now, I can understand the viewpoint of the MA senator. Budweiser is an un-American company. It hates freedom. It is the Benedict Arnold of Brews. The Quisling of Quaffs. The Petain of Partytime. For Obama to choose such an un-American beer to drink is political suicide and demonstrates his lack of political know-how and leadership. He has failed to grasp the views and dreams of the "real" American, the Sarah Palin American...
THIS IS THE WORST NEWS ARTICLE EVER!
Why the FUCK is CNN wasting it's time, again, on such drivel! It proves nothing, enlightens nobody, and advances no thought or insight. I say, again, that CNN sucks.
Why do I check CNN almost daily then? Well, the website is set up brilliantly. The content, however, isn't worth the "0" and "1"s it's made of.
Now, I can understand the viewpoint of the MA senator. Budweiser is an un-American company. It hates freedom. It is the Benedict Arnold of Brews. The Quisling of Quaffs. The Petain of Partytime. For Obama to choose such an un-American beer to drink is political suicide and demonstrates his lack of political know-how and leadership. He has failed to grasp the views and dreams of the "real" American, the Sarah Palin American...
THIS IS THE WORST NEWS ARTICLE EVER!
Why the FUCK is CNN wasting it's time, again, on such drivel! It proves nothing, enlightens nobody, and advances no thought or insight. I say, again, that CNN sucks.
Why do I check CNN almost daily then? Well, the website is set up brilliantly. The content, however, isn't worth the "0" and "1"s it's made of.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
O MAn...
I joined a gym recently. Ok, ok, stop laughing. I will be the first one to admit that the skinny kid with daily groomed scruff-beard doesn't exactly scream "I need to get a lift in". But, I enjoy it. Perhaps it's just because of the cute girls (who generally ignore said scruff-beard kid. Why would you choose a Cooper in a room of Yukons? [I was going to write "Smart Car", but that was just too pretentious]). Or maybe it's the ability to push my body to the absolute limit--something I enjoy immensely. Reaching the point where it is no longer a matter of mentally pushing myself on through self-motivation, but being physically incapable of going further, reaching the biological limit of progress, the point where my sinews and striated fibers tell me to fuck off, is a feeling of utter bliss. I'll just try to not crap my pants the next time that happens (I've never crapped my pants, thank you. I do nearly puke every time, but that's another story).
[I am typing at a Cuban cafe right now, and some dick is slurping his pulled pork next to me. How he actually is accomplishing this feat is beyond me. He is doing it in that sort of militant lean-over-the-bowl-and-shove-everything-inside-and-let-whatever-doesn't-fit-fall-back-into-the-bowl-so-I-can-shove-it-back-in style. I wish to claim his still beating heart.]
But there is one part of the gym I wasn't quite expecting, nor do I look forward to each time I return: Naked old men.
I am being completely truthful, and I might simultaneously be betraying some unknown pact of secrecy amongst Those Who Lift, but old men love getting butt naked in the gym changing rooms. They love it. They can't get enough of it. If you're old and you go to the gym, you like getting naked there. You can't put on an ankle sock or check your complexion in the mirror without having some Old Man Ass (OMA) staring back at you. The trick is keeping your distance and averting your gaze. Futility defined.
And for some Satanic reason, they are always bending over. These prostrated geriatrics must hang around all day, staring at their shins, just waiting for some unsuspecting young bearded man to turn a corner and be greeted by OMA. Their patience is admirable. Their asses are hairy.
I, consequently, am a little bit more comfortable in letting my unmentionables hang freely. I mean, I don't go parading around, but if there has to be a moment of Full Monty before I get a towel around my waist, so be it. But I still have the modesty to cover up. These guys are airing their balls out like it was laundry day at Grandma's farm.
Why the nakedness? I suppose the urge comes from that curious characteristic of age which manifests itself in many ways: Simply not giving a shit.
Bumper to bumper traffic. Check my mirrors, or just go for it? Ah, fuck it.
Pretty girl walking the street. Say what's on my mind or keep dirty thoughts to myself? Ah, fuck it.
Shit my pants. Clean myself in the bathroom or enjoy the warmth. Ah, fuck it.
I never thought about it, but I actually envy them. Here's to not giving a damn!
[I am typing at a Cuban cafe right now, and some dick is slurping his pulled pork next to me. How he actually is accomplishing this feat is beyond me. He is doing it in that sort of militant lean-over-the-bowl-and-shove-everything-inside-and-let-whatever-doesn't-fit-fall-back-into-the-bowl-so-I-can-shove-it-back-in style. I wish to claim his still beating heart.]
But there is one part of the gym I wasn't quite expecting, nor do I look forward to each time I return: Naked old men.
I am being completely truthful, and I might simultaneously be betraying some unknown pact of secrecy amongst Those Who Lift, but old men love getting butt naked in the gym changing rooms. They love it. They can't get enough of it. If you're old and you go to the gym, you like getting naked there. You can't put on an ankle sock or check your complexion in the mirror without having some Old Man Ass (OMA) staring back at you. The trick is keeping your distance and averting your gaze. Futility defined.
And for some Satanic reason, they are always bending over. These prostrated geriatrics must hang around all day, staring at their shins, just waiting for some unsuspecting young bearded man to turn a corner and be greeted by OMA. Their patience is admirable. Their asses are hairy.
I, consequently, am a little bit more comfortable in letting my unmentionables hang freely. I mean, I don't go parading around, but if there has to be a moment of Full Monty before I get a towel around my waist, so be it. But I still have the modesty to cover up. These guys are airing their balls out like it was laundry day at Grandma's farm.
Why the nakedness? I suppose the urge comes from that curious characteristic of age which manifests itself in many ways: Simply not giving a shit.
Bumper to bumper traffic. Check my mirrors, or just go for it? Ah, fuck it.
Pretty girl walking the street. Say what's on my mind or keep dirty thoughts to myself? Ah, fuck it.
Shit my pants. Clean myself in the bathroom or enjoy the warmth. Ah, fuck it.
I never thought about it, but I actually envy them. Here's to not giving a damn!
Minty!
A question that has been in the back of my brain for some time now is if there is a universal flavor that everybody enjoys. At first I thought I had the answer, and it seemed so obvious I was surprised I didn't think of it sooner.
Banana.
But then I woke up the next morning, swigged a liter of water, took an aspirin, and tried not to puke.
The more I thought about this question (which I am fully aware doesn't have an answer, but do me a favor and humor me), the more I realized that I had to simplify it. I had to break it down. Okay, instead of brainstorming for the perfect flavor, let's think "feelings". What feeling does every person, regardless of race, religion, or ethnicity, enjoy? Working with this line of reasoning, how can we derive a feeling from a flavor? That would give us our universal flavor.
When I was brushing my teeth, it hit me. And it was good.
Mint.
Everybody likes minty fresh breath. I mean, EVERYBODY likes minty breath. Everybody likes mint. Both the possessor and outside observers enjoy minty fresh breath. Margaret Thatcher likes minty breath. Muammar Gadafi (who's head, parenthetically, looks like it was used as the mold for the monoliths of Easter Island: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kadafi) chews mint when he his tummy hurts. Moroccans have mint tea, Cubans have Mojitos, and Southerners have Mint Juleps. Five out of five dentists recommend mint. Mentatdent is the greatest toothpaste ever, and I dare you to find some poor bastard who admits to preferring the white paste side to the cool blue mint gel side. The pope has been known to get cranky if he doesn't have his Triple Stripe Aquafresh (can you imagine the Pope brushing his teeth? The visual of him propping up the Pope hat in his right hand, holding the Pope robe back in his left, while he dips his head over the sink to hock a frothy dollop of toothpaste plop is priceless. Do you think he checks his teeth, smiles at the mirror, and winks at his reflection?). The Treasury Department loves the Mint.
Who would ever say "Minty breath? Oh man, not for me!" Nobody. Ever.
This was all proven wrong. I have customers at my restaurant say they don't like mint.
How could you not like mint! What the hell is wrong with these people! It's mint! It is the very definition of fresh. It is the Alpha and the Omega. It is the eleventh Commandment. By not liking mint, these sick "people" are saying... you know what, I don't care what they are saying. It probably smells like fermenting llama crap (which, coincidentally, is great fertilizer for mint).
If you don't like mint, you hate freedom. It's as simple as that. The terrorists win every time you brush your teeth with Tom's of Maine Cinnamon flavor. You fucking commie.
Banana.
But then I woke up the next morning, swigged a liter of water, took an aspirin, and tried not to puke.
The more I thought about this question (which I am fully aware doesn't have an answer, but do me a favor and humor me), the more I realized that I had to simplify it. I had to break it down. Okay, instead of brainstorming for the perfect flavor, let's think "feelings". What feeling does every person, regardless of race, religion, or ethnicity, enjoy? Working with this line of reasoning, how can we derive a feeling from a flavor? That would give us our universal flavor.
When I was brushing my teeth, it hit me. And it was good.
Mint.
Everybody likes minty fresh breath. I mean, EVERYBODY likes minty breath. Everybody likes mint. Both the possessor and outside observers enjoy minty fresh breath. Margaret Thatcher likes minty breath. Muammar Gadafi (who's head, parenthetically, looks like it was used as the mold for the monoliths of Easter Island: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kadafi) chews mint when he his tummy hurts. Moroccans have mint tea, Cubans have Mojitos, and Southerners have Mint Juleps. Five out of five dentists recommend mint. Mentatdent is the greatest toothpaste ever, and I dare you to find some poor bastard who admits to preferring the white paste side to the cool blue mint gel side. The pope has been known to get cranky if he doesn't have his Triple Stripe Aquafresh (can you imagine the Pope brushing his teeth? The visual of him propping up the Pope hat in his right hand, holding the Pope robe back in his left, while he dips his head over the sink to hock a frothy dollop of toothpaste plop is priceless. Do you think he checks his teeth, smiles at the mirror, and winks at his reflection?). The Treasury Department loves the Mint.
Who would ever say "Minty breath? Oh man, not for me!" Nobody. Ever.
This was all proven wrong. I have customers at my restaurant say they don't like mint.
How could you not like mint! What the hell is wrong with these people! It's mint! It is the very definition of fresh. It is the Alpha and the Omega. It is the eleventh Commandment. By not liking mint, these sick "people" are saying... you know what, I don't care what they are saying. It probably smells like fermenting llama crap (which, coincidentally, is great fertilizer for mint).
If you don't like mint, you hate freedom. It's as simple as that. The terrorists win every time you brush your teeth with Tom's of Maine Cinnamon flavor. You fucking commie.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Greatest Hits, Vol. 1
I set out before to transcribe, word for word, my diary that I kept in Morocco onto this blog. However, you can't imagine how boring that is. Therefore, I will post some tasty selections and quotes for you, distinguished reader.
I present, the Best Of Collection, vol. 1:
"Thought: I would love to be an old Spanish man. Clothed in a loose white collared shirt and bright slacks, I would laze the day away, letting the Spanish sun bake my already bronzed leather skin. Maybe I'll split my time between Spain and Bavaria, trading my slacks for a lederhosen and my rioja for Augustiner."
"When I first entered the ferry [to Tangiers], I must have entered into the ladies section, because I was greeted with one of the most disorienting sights yet experienced: A graceful ocean of color. Each of the dozens of women were clothed in brightly colored headdresses, and the resulting rainbow stopped me in my tracks and made me smile."
"June 4, 7:30am. Just woke up on the train [the Marrakesh Express overnight train from Tangiers to Marrakesh]. I slept okay. Surprisingly chilly. Spend most of the night chatting with my bunkmates who were three young Moroccans, all involved in the tourist industry and speaking great English. We talk about American culture, Green Day, Desperate Housewives, etc. I learn a bit more about Islamic culture and traditions. We share bread and yogurt drinks."
" 'George Bush is the mafia!'-- said by a 15 year old boy in Marrakesh."
"Marrakesh is filled with thousands of shoplets selling everything from yogurt, bread, copper, fish, chicken organs, spices, pet birds, hookahs, leather shoes, tea sets, carpets, 'natural medicines', and jewelry. Almost seems exclusively geared towards tourists, yet the streets are not filled with them. The city is a giant social network, where everybody seems to know everybody else. I was sitting in a cafe, chatting to a local man clothed in a magnificent blue cloak, only to run into him hours later at his own souk! A handshake, a "salaam aleikum" and we were temporary old friends."
"June 4, 20:40pm. The city suddenly echos with voices from all corners. The muezzin- the call to prayer. It started in the east, and slowly spread from mosque to mosque until at least five voices were calling over the loudspeakers. Slightly horrifying but at the same time it was so special that it could almost be comforting. Everybody in the city recognized and listened. It was communal."
"June 5, 12:09 pm. Currently walking through the Ville Nouvelle, a veritable oasis in this desert heat. Well, that's the romantic vision of it. Truly it is a bit foreign in this foreign land. The streets are maintained... and paved for that matter, the sidewalks of hardy construction, and political leaflets are nowhere to be found.
I just saw a fully veiled woman lift the flap over her face to pick her nose. That was special."
"With a moment to relax, here are some of my first impressions: I am shocked by the beauty of the flora and the women. It can be said that in the harshest climates can be found some of nature's greatest beauties. Cabernet Sauvignon for example. Even Assam teas. Harsh climate, complex and robust constitution...
As for my general experience with the people, it has been overwhelmingly positive. Hospitality is ingrained in the culture. The flip side is that it is uncomfortable and foreign for a Westerner, as far as the assertiveness, aggression, and dare I say, the deception of the merchants. They call, beckon, mock, shout, grab, and insult just to get your attention. I had one owner insist that I hated Moroccans because I did not go to his stall. The bastard. Don't pull that shit. When I walked away, laughing somewhat mockingly at him, he said in English "this is bullshit." He couldn't be more correct."
I present, the Best Of Collection, vol. 1:
"Thought: I would love to be an old Spanish man. Clothed in a loose white collared shirt and bright slacks, I would laze the day away, letting the Spanish sun bake my already bronzed leather skin. Maybe I'll split my time between Spain and Bavaria, trading my slacks for a lederhosen and my rioja for Augustiner."
"When I first entered the ferry [to Tangiers], I must have entered into the ladies section, because I was greeted with one of the most disorienting sights yet experienced: A graceful ocean of color. Each of the dozens of women were clothed in brightly colored headdresses, and the resulting rainbow stopped me in my tracks and made me smile."
"June 4, 7:30am. Just woke up on the train [the Marrakesh Express overnight train from Tangiers to Marrakesh]. I slept okay. Surprisingly chilly. Spend most of the night chatting with my bunkmates who were three young Moroccans, all involved in the tourist industry and speaking great English. We talk about American culture, Green Day, Desperate Housewives, etc. I learn a bit more about Islamic culture and traditions. We share bread and yogurt drinks."
" 'George Bush is the mafia!'-- said by a 15 year old boy in Marrakesh."
"Marrakesh is filled with thousands of shoplets selling everything from yogurt, bread, copper, fish, chicken organs, spices, pet birds, hookahs, leather shoes, tea sets, carpets, 'natural medicines', and jewelry. Almost seems exclusively geared towards tourists, yet the streets are not filled with them. The city is a giant social network, where everybody seems to know everybody else. I was sitting in a cafe, chatting to a local man clothed in a magnificent blue cloak, only to run into him hours later at his own souk! A handshake, a "salaam aleikum" and we were temporary old friends."
"June 4, 20:40pm. The city suddenly echos with voices from all corners. The muezzin- the call to prayer. It started in the east, and slowly spread from mosque to mosque until at least five voices were calling over the loudspeakers. Slightly horrifying but at the same time it was so special that it could almost be comforting. Everybody in the city recognized and listened. It was communal."
"June 5, 12:09 pm. Currently walking through the Ville Nouvelle, a veritable oasis in this desert heat. Well, that's the romantic vision of it. Truly it is a bit foreign in this foreign land. The streets are maintained... and paved for that matter, the sidewalks of hardy construction, and political leaflets are nowhere to be found.
I just saw a fully veiled woman lift the flap over her face to pick her nose. That was special."
"With a moment to relax, here are some of my first impressions: I am shocked by the beauty of the flora and the women. It can be said that in the harshest climates can be found some of nature's greatest beauties. Cabernet Sauvignon for example. Even Assam teas. Harsh climate, complex and robust constitution...
As for my general experience with the people, it has been overwhelmingly positive. Hospitality is ingrained in the culture. The flip side is that it is uncomfortable and foreign for a Westerner, as far as the assertiveness, aggression, and dare I say, the deception of the merchants. They call, beckon, mock, shout, grab, and insult just to get your attention. I had one owner insist that I hated Moroccans because I did not go to his stall. The bastard. Don't pull that shit. When I walked away, laughing somewhat mockingly at him, he said in English "this is bullshit." He couldn't be more correct."
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