Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Future is... ChoiceMail!

Since the last post was lame, I thought of a new one almost immediately. I am going to share with you, dear reader, my invention that I thought of a few years ago. I know that I will never pursue patenting this, and if it eventually does get "invented", you will know that I thought of it first and humanity shall reap the benefits I have sown. That's good enough for me.

So, it's called the "Cellular ChoiceMail." Did he just say "voicemail?" No, I said "ChoiceMail", because I am so damn clever (it's a stupid name and I am working on it, but it kind of makes sense. Want to know how? Turn to page 36! [do you remember those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books? For those of you who missed the greatest thing to happen to literature since Gutenberg, CYOA books had the reader reading along some plot line {usually in some scary location} and then there would suddenly be a decision to make. Something like: "Should Tom and Sally enter the Haunted House or go home in time for TV dinners?" Then, depending on which choice you made, the reader would then turn to the appropriate page {"To enter through the front door, turn to page 18. To enter through the back door, first consult your physician," etc.}. The story would continue based on your decision. Friggin sweet.] Moving on...)

Here's how it works: On your cell phone, there will be a rather large and conspicuous (preferably red) button, easily pressable, located near the top. The user will press and hold that button, and then speak into the phone and record their ChoiceMail answering service. Instead of having that generic "Hello you've reached Matt's cell phone (I've always hated that greeting. "Hey, that's funny... Matt's cell phone sounds just like Matt!" Shut up.) , leave a message after the beep", you could quickly change that to cater to different situations. For example:

You're about to enter a four hour meeting with the budget committee. You want those who call you to know that you are about to enter said meeting. Push the button. Hold the button. Say "Hey it's Matt, I am in a meeting right now. I'll be out in four hours." Release the button. Magic abounds. Then, when Mary McLady calls to talk about your dinner date, she will hear your ChoiceMail, which says you are in a meeting. "Oh, he is not ignoring me. He is just in a meeting. I eagerly await his return telephone call!"

The possibilities are endless!
"Hey it's Matt. I am at the movies right now. Call you when it's over."
"Hey it's Matt. In the bathroom right now. Send reinforcements."
"Hey it's Matt. I'm so high right now. Look at all the pretty colors. Rain is so cool."

And the only time you don't need ChoiceMail is when you are able to answer the phone! Best of all, people will no longer think you are ignoring their phone calls, even if you really are. Is that weird kid from that party last night still calling you? ChoiceMail to the rescue! Just say "Hey it's Karen. I am in Fiji right now tracking pirates. Be back in six months." Simple!

Get your's today!

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