Monday, July 14, 2008

Viva La France!

Break out your red scarfs and sharpen up the guillotine... it's Bastille Day! The time that we all gather to celebrate the overthrow and subsequent execution of an absolute monarch with parades and violent riots. What better way to show your love for the patrie than torching a parked car or recklessly climbing a national monument while in the nude? And while we stand shouting in the streets, waving the tri-color, make sure to chant that gay tune with those enchanting lyrics, "La Marseillaise":

Arise, children of our country,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us the bloodied banner
Of tyranny is raised. (repeat)
Do you hear in the countryside
The roar of those ferocious soldiers?
They come right here among us
To slaughter our sons and wives!

For the love of God, take our daughters! But our sons and wives?! Oh the humanity!
I joke. I only joke. We all know that I am quite the Francophile. I would give my first born son in return for another trip to my dear Paris. In case you haven't been there, check out one of my favorite videos of all time:

The name of the film is "Rendezvous". It was filmed in 1972 and is perhaps the most illegal and thrilling joy ride ever caught on tape. The driver covers most of Paris, from the Arc de Triomphe to the Louvre to Sacre Coeur. He even at one point tries to make a turn down the street I lived on (Rue Lepic) but has to abort because it is way too tight of a turn (it happens at 6:16 into the video. You can see the Moulin Rouge moments afterward on the right hand side). He nearly kills a few pedestrians, almost slams into a garbage truck... and he even gets the girl. Bad ass.

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