Friday, December 7, 2007

Matt's Basic Mis-Guidance, Part II: The Over Share

Now hold on a sec! Are you telling me that you are still making it with the ladies? They have not run in fear, spilling their valuables onto the pavement in a vain attempt to escape your blumbering attempts at conversation? Well have I got news for you! Here comes Basic Mis-Guidance Part II: The Over Share.

For reasons unknown, I have the annoying habit of spilling all my beans way too early in a conversation with a new person. Things that should not be revealed for years (if ever) I have the need to tell right away. My guess is that I am trying to be free and honest, but I know that it comes off as strange and sketchy. Combine that with tense nerves and raging hormones and disaster is usually to follow. Here are a few brief examples of things I shouldn't ever discuss, but enthusiastically bring up in the first ten minutes of conversation:

1. Love of musical theatre
2. Love of dancing
3. Love of singing
4. Love of history
5. my mother

Well now isn't that great? She is going to think I am a gay, dork, momma's boy. Honestly I don't know how she is possibly keeping her hands off me at this point. I must be irresistable. Not quite...

In conclusion, if you are looking to scare a good girl away, feel free to expand on my list with these other juicy morsels:

Current girlfriends
Irritating rashes
Sexual fetishes
Current medications
Violent thoughts
Voices in your head
Talking toothbrushes

If she isn't running scared after that... you should be.

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