Somewhere deep in an underground bunker, under thousands of feet of concrete, miles below the thriving metropolis, a group of concerned activists gather to discuss a growing societal fissure:
"It's everywhere. On the streets, in the schools, on top of urinals. It's in the goddamn currency for christsake!"
"I don't know Bill, I think you're overreacting."
"I'm not overreacting dammit! We're at war, and desperate times calls for desperate housewives!"
"Thousands of tons."
"Listen, we need a public offensive. A new front in the war. I'm talking shock and awe."
"You don't mean..."
"But he's a rogue. A loose cannon! He's unpredictable! He shot it up in a 'movie' theatre for crying out loud!"
"He's the best option we've got."
"Are you sure you want to do this."
"Positive. The kids look up to him and the parents fear him. It's the only option we've got."
"Get me Pee Wee Herman."
I present to you, a PSA about the dangers of crack-- starring Pee Wee Herman.